Maybe you have a nagging sense of dissatisfaction, even though you can’t identify what’s actually wrong?Are you busy all the time but left feeling unfulfilled? Restless and irritable but when someone asks why, you can’t answer it? You just know… something isn’t right. Even though everything in your life may look good on paper, there’s something missing. And it’s causing disruption to your existence.
Sometime’s we know that our life isn’t what we want it to be. We daydream another world where we’re living an alternative life and making meaningful leaps and bounds in our careers, our relationships and development. We spent a ridiculous amount of time procrastinating and avoiding all the things we should be doing. We scroll endlessly on our phones to create a distraction from how we feel about our life. We’re always emotionally fatigued, drained, unmotivated and lacking real clarity.
This ebbs into our physical well-being. Sleeping becomes trouble-some, constantly tossing and turning after we turn out the lights. Anxiety starts to creep in, tightening its grip around our chest, making us feel trapped. Even the things that once made us happy, now fail to bring the tiniest of joys. We withdraw from our family and friends, becoming more disconnected from the real world. Minor interruptions over little things can make us snap, and then that behaviour makes us feel guilty.
This existential drift is us losing perspective of our lives, our purpose hides itself and we get stuck in a never-ending limbo. We’ve hit a point where we see ourselves, but no longer recognise that person staring back at us – we’ve suddenly realised we’re having an identity crisis.
No matter the amount of life hacks you employ, if you aren’t aligned with who you perceive yourself to be, no amount of effort and willpower will prove productive in the long-run. You need to rediscover your core, your purpose, your values, who you are and what drives you. The changes you need to make, need to realign with this identity otherwise you’ll never feel a sense of fulfilment.
By identifying your Purpose, you will give yourself a sense of direction.
By connecting with the things you Value, you can decide what to feed your energy towards.
When you align yourself with your purpose and your values, the intentional actions you take in light of these, will give you energy. They won’t feel effortful and draining anymore. Here’s an analogy I’d love you to consider;
You can drive a fast car, but if you don’t know where you’re going and why, you’ll never end up at your destination. Maybe you’ll take a wrong turn and end up on a 4wd track in your luxury sports car, quickly damaging your pride and joy. Eventually, you’ll end up nowhere, with a beaten up car and wonder what the point of the journey was. Instead, stop for a moment, find out where you’re heading, get directions, and find the route on the map that gets you there safely.
Figuring out your purpose can be hard – especially if you have a lot of external factors – like raising children, financial obligations, expectations. Your values may be swayed by culture or social demand, but if you put aside all of those things. Ask yourself this question;-
What do I want?
Write it down. It can be anything. maybe you want a cute and cuddly dog and that will solve all your unease, or maybe you want to go back to school and study and become a nobel prize winner. We’re not trying to decide if it’s achievable, we’re just deciding what we want in this moment. Then ask a slightly different question;-
What matters to me?
Do you care about your family? Your wealth status? Health? Do you want freedom to explore, or freedom from responsibilities? (I’m not suggesting you pack a bag and disappear, but maybe you don’t need to be the president of the PTA, run canteen 3 days a week, coach your daughter’s soccer team, bake cookies for your neighbours and help your work-mate move furniture) Sometimes we make ourselves responsible for too many things.
Today’s task seems simple. What do you want and what matters to you? Don’t filter it, don’t judge it. Just let it exist. Once you have a glimpse of what your heart wants, your compass will follow. The path forward is already easier, because you know the direction.
Download the “What Drives Me” template. (It’s free!)
In the next post we’ll explore how to create goals and actions on how to get us there.
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