This is a week where the brain never rests.
Last week I made the decision to be more mindful of what I was fuelling my body with, and it made a huge difference. My hormones were raging (though I was in turn suppressing them), my mind was drained and foggy and my body was exhausted.
A few days of healthier choices and that started clearing. While I wasn’t entirely successful in maintaining the full week (because I failed at setting a solid system in place to help me succeed), the days I was more mindful made it clear I need to do more of it.
Am I still doing my three micro-tasks? Yes – well, most mornings.
The water intake is happening, and surprisingly my skin is even looking healthier. Throughout winter, I was blaming the weather, but honestly, I wasn’t drinking enough water. Water is the self-care I forget the quickest.
There’s something cathartic about refraining from spending money of an evening after work. It’s an easy habit to get into – buying lunch or a car trip ‘treat’ on the way home. You don’t even notice the amount of money you’re actually spending because each day they’re small amounts.
But surprisingly it makes a huge difference at the end of the week. Logging in to our bank account and seeing it grow just by being mindful about spending feels amazing. (Even better feeling because we’re about to embark on a huge construction loan. It’s reassuring to know we can live minimally).
I’ve taken the day off work today as a study day. Exam week is looming and I needed an extra day to cram.
Yesterday, my brain was split into way too many fractions, so I made the decision to focus on one thing today. Though not entirely possible, I at least eliminated a 10 – hour day of juggling everything.
This week of the term is the hardest. I know I haven’t studied as much as I should (it’s the same every term). I do the best I can around work and life. But right now I find myself feeling crazy and misguided for trying to do it all.
I toss between thoughts of giving up, “keep on keeping on”, or using all my leave entitlements to give myself six months of pure study – it’s a roundabout that by default I just keep going.
Around the day of study, I’ll potter around the granny flat cleaning, bake something yummy for the kids for school and wash the sheets.
Making the bed every morning when I leave for work (I’m talking 5am), gives me a peace knowing I will be climbing into a made bed later that night.
Todays simply pleasure will be crisp, fresh sheets for bed tonight.
Despite having a ton on my plate, I’m still slowly chipping away at building this website. It’s taking shape, though I still don’t know exactly where I want it to end up. But that’s the journey.
What I really want at this stage in my life is someone else to drive the boat for a wh – to make some of the decisions – so I can focus on other things. Often I feel stuck not knowing what to do next, what I should be doing, or how to get to where I want to be.
For now, I’m trusting this space will grow into something useful for someone else.
A self-care exercise;
What am I feeling right now?
I’m stressed, anxious, worried and nervous. I feel like I’m in fight or flight mode. I’m disappointed, overwhelmed and feeling hopeless. I feel like giving up studying.
What is the cause of these feelings?
Exam week. Uni studies. The notion I can’t fit everything in. I’m worried I won’t pass exams because I haven’t studied enough throughout the term.
The disappointment comes from lack of time management. I start strong, studying each week. Then assessments start popping up, and my time shifts from study to just getting them done. By week 10, I’ve done well on assessments but haven’t studied the second half of the content. That leaves me cramming in a panic just to pass exams so the whole term isn’t wasted.
What can I do about it?
I can drop everything non – essential for the next week and solely focus on study. I’m lucky hubby will swoop in and pick up the pieces. I do still need to go to work, but I can choose easy dinners, to leave work on time, and study in small blocks to make it less daunting.
How can I help future me with this?
I can plan leave days periodically throughout the term to make full study days. I know from past experience, my normal days off aren’t enough. Planning study days will help me feel more confident at exam time and easy the anxiety.
So, before anything else. I’m setting myself up for a better next term. I’m looking up the term dates, putting in a couple of leave days and can then rest my worry about the next term. It’ll take ten minutes today, but will serve me well me in the future.
Have you tried this self-care exercise? Did it help?
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